Last week I celebrated 2 years of knowing and loving my best friend. It has been the best 2 years of my life by far, and I am so excited for all the years we have ahead. To mark the day we went to London, walked around, had tea and scones and then made a spontaneous visit to a comedy club.
I rarely write massive amounts on this blog, as I prefer to keep it brief. So I decided to write a little insight into our relationship, with a focus on my view on arguments in relationships.
When we met, without going into too much detail, I was so completely not looking at meeting anyone in a romantic capacity. After just getting out of a crazy relationship I was very much excited at the prospect of being single. But as soon as I met Tom I knew that idea was about to go out of the window, and I couldn't of cared less! When you meet the person you know you are supposed to be with, current circumstance, other people's opinions and even your own logic seem to just take a back seat. I was happy, genuinely happy for the first time in years, and I wasn't about to stop that. Some friends were sceptical at first, out of being protective as they knew the details of all that had gone before and didn't want me to get hurt, but after meeting Tom they fell in love with him too. Quite hard not to really!
Since then we decided to take everything slowly and just have fun together. Our relationship is strange to a lot of people, I could happily spend every waking moment in a room with Tom and never get bored. I can spend all day in a museum with him, or all night in a club, just us, and have more fun than I would with 100 other people. But probably the main thing that people have often commented on, is the fact that we don't argue. When I tell people this, I often get one of the following reactions:
-"oh, don't worry you will"
-"surely that's not very healthy?"
-"I really hope you have a few big arguments before you get married, I would be very worried if you didn't"
Now, I am no relationship expert but I really don't agree with this! I'm not saying that if you do argue then it's bad, but I am saying that just because we don't doesn't mean we have an unhealthy relationship! In my opinion it's so very sad that arguing and fighting with your spouse is so normal. I'm not saying that Tom and I agree on everything, but when we don't we just talk, like we do during any other conversation. This usually then results in negotiating and compromise, and then we move on. Sometimes it's not easy as by nature I can be argumentative and defensive, but I don't want to argue with Tom, so if I feel riled I just decide to not react. And often Tom will just laugh at me, which of course makes me laugh too. As a result the closest we've ever come to arguing began and was finished within 30 seconds.
I can't stand that people judge our relationship as being unhealthy just because we don't bring each other down/bicker/scream/shout/punch holes in walls/smash dinner plates. That might work for your relationship, but it doesn't for us. And for the rest of our lives I plan to keep it that way! I remember just after getting together I was spending some time with girl friends, they were telling stories of recent arguments they had had with their other halves, when I told them that myself and Tom were yet to have a disagreement, I was laughed at, and told to wait a while... so I waited, and waited, we counted the months our relationship was argument free, month after month of nothing but fun, laughing and genuine friendship, until the day came when we just stopped counting and realised this is just the way we are! I want to celebrate the fact that our lives are drama free and I never have to worry about saying or doing something that could result in a raging row, and not have to justify it every time someone enquires as to why we don't ever fall out!
Below is a photo from our wander around London, and my anniversary present from Tom! It's the Vogue issue from the month & year we met. Plus the flowers he had sent to me at work, he did well!